Well, sorry for the hiatus, but I’ve just returned from a glorious trip to Japan, or as the locals call it, the Land of the Rising FUN! OK, they don’t really call it that, but they definitely should. While I wasn’t fighting off Ninjas, Godzilla, or Giant Robots from the Future, I managed to have quite a bit of fun, and even take some gaming related snapshots, for your pleasure!
I almost died when I saw those Sonic-themed garbage cans in one of the numerous SEGA arcades in Tokyo. After forcing myself to stop laughing, I checked inside and, sure enough, they were entirely full of irony. I actually had to stop and wonder whether someone just thought that they’d make a cute way to dispose of one’s waste, or if someone was actually trying to say something about the state of the franchise today.
Yes, unfortunately it’s true. Sonic’s career hasn’t been going well lately, and his last few games have been, well, garbage. For some reason, the people behind Sonic decided that, instead of sticking to the formula of fast-paced, exciting gameplay with fun moves and great controls, which is what made the series so popular in the first place, they’d try something different. And they’ve tried all sorts of things to get us interested, from putting him in poorly designed 3D worlds with wonky controls and horrible camera angles, all the way to explicit hedgehog/human interspecies kissing scenes. I can’t believe that didn’t work! In fact, I could probably go all day talking about things that are wrong with Sonic these days. I nearly gave up on the franchise completely when they changed Dr. Robotnik’s name to Dr. Eggman. Dr. Eggman?? Seriously?? First of all, if he really is a Doctor, he’d be smart enough to know that nobody in their right mind would be afraid of someone named Eggman. Secondly, everyone enjoys a good Russian adversary! Why ruin that?
But I guess we can’t be too hard on our speedy, blue friend. He is, after all, apparently something of a philanthropist, as you can see from the second picture. I was pretty surprised by this, but it clearly states that “helping the needy is his game”. I guess that explains why his games aren’t fun anymore. Nobody likes helping the needy! When I tried doing some research into what organizations he supports, the only information I could find is that I was too lazy to do any research. So I have no idea. But I think both Chilidogs for Children, and the Association for Crippled People Who Also Happen to Love Incredibly Fast Blue Hedgehogs, But Are Still Crippled (ACPWAHLIFBH,BASC) are both pretty good candidates.
But, while I am a big fan of charity (other people’s), I just hope Sonic remembers that there are some needy people out there who just need another good Sonic game. Nobody needs crappy games, Sonic. Nobody.